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Dogberry2
2008-12-16, 09:23
Last night, I dreamt I worked for Slim, and had been assigned to respond to three posts on the forums. The posts went something like those listed below. When I woke up, I realized that working for Slim must require a great deal of patience and restraint. So I say thanks to all the patient and thoughtful folk at Slim for their efforts, and their forbearance, and I hope they never actually see posts like these:

1)
I AM SO TICKED OFF!!!! I CAN'T MAKE THIS THING WORK!!!! SUPPORT IS NOT LISTENING TO ME AND WON'T FIX MY PROBLEM!!!! I CALLED THEM AND YELLED AT THEM AND THEY TOLD ME TO TRY SOMETHING BUT I KNOW THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM SO I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO DO WHAT THEY'RE TELLING ME!!!!!! YOU CALL THIS TECHNICAL SUPPORT!?!?! I AM SO TICKED OFF, AND TO PROVE IT, I GOT IN A FRESH SHIPMENT OF EXCLAMATION MARKS AND I'M GOING TO KEEP USING THEM UNTIL MY PROBLEM IS SOLVED!!!!!!!!! I ALSO REFUSE TO TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK!! BUT THIS STUPID THING STILL DOESN'T WORK, SO I'M VERY TICKED OFF, SO THERE!!!!! AND DON'T EVEN TELL ME IT'S MY NETWORK BECAUSE MY NETWORK IS PERFECT AND I KNOW IT'S NOT MY NETWORK!!!!!! I PAID FOR THIS THING AND I CAN'T MAKE IT WORK AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT SO I'M VERY TICKED OFF!!!!


2)
My SBR works okay but I don't like the menu layout on the SBC and I don't see why it can't be completely redesigned so that it looks the way I want it to. I want my favorite radio station from the Republic of Chad to be right at the top, and I want my albums sorted according to the age of the performer (at the time of the recording), then by the lead singer's vocal range (alto, soprano, contralto, tenor, bass, etc.), and I want the album cover art to be chroma negative (it looks cooler that way) and I want the controller to come in different colors so I can have fuschia in the solarium and caramel in the den. I want to run it from my cell phone and my TV remote and I also think it would be cool if it came on and started playing my top 10 favorites when I hit my garage door remote from my car so it's already playing when I walk in the house. I want the battery to last at least a month and I don't see why they can't make it do that because I mean my watch battery has lasted two years already. Come to think of it, I'd like to be able to control it from my wristwatch. And another cool feature would be if it would automatically turn the volume down when my doorbell rings. But this would have to be configurable.


3)
I think Logitech should get on the greenwagon and start designing electronic gear that doesn't need so much electricity because after all we have to save the planet. I'm sitting here typing on a computer with a 24-inch monitor in my climate-controlled house with central air, central heat, hot running water, a refrigerator, a commercial freezer, two microwave ovens, five TVs (including a 90-inch plasma), three DVD/BLU-Ray players, four computers, 8TB of disk storage, a big home theater system, and six different video game boxes, but I notice that my SBC cradle uses a whopping .001 milliwatts of power when the controller isn't even in it! I don't really know just what a watt is, but still, that seems like an awful lot. Why does it waste so much power? Doesn't anybody care about saving the planet? I think it could be made greener. I never studied physics or electronics, don't have an engineering degree, have absolutely no knowledge of nor experience in the field of electronics engineering, but I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that the recharging cradle could be designed better if the Logitech people would just think green. Let's focus on the tiny, minuscule, infinitesimal, little things, people, so we can save the planet! Get on the green stick, Logitech! Now I'm going to go turn the oven on to preheat so I can make some pizza rolls.

bklaas
2008-12-16, 09:39
Best. Post. Ever.

snarlydwarf
2008-12-16, 09:46
Best. Post. Ever.

I want some of his coffee...

Mark Lanctot
2008-12-16, 09:47
LOL, I bet this gets posted on bulletin boards in Mountain View, but my favourite was:


3)
I think Logitech should get on the greenwagon and start designing electronic gear that doesn't need so much electricity because after all we have to save the planet. I'm sitting here typing on a computer with a 24-inch monitor in my climate-controlled house with central air, central heat, hot running water, a refrigerator, a commercial freezer, two microwave ovens, five TVs (including a 90-inch plasma), three DVD/BLU-Ray players, four computers, 8TB of disk storage, a big home theater system, and six different video game boxes, but I notice that my SBC cradle uses a whopping .001 milliwatts of power when the controller isn't even in it! I don't really know just what a watt is, but still, that seems like an awful lot. Why does it waste so much power? Doesn't anybody care about saving the planet? I think it could be made greener. I never studied physics or electronics, don't have an engineering degree, have absolutely no knowledge of nor experience in the field of electronics engineering, but I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that the recharging cradle could be designed better if the Logitech people would just think green. Let's focus on the tiny, minuscule, infinitesimal, little things, people, so we can save the planet! Get on the green stick, Logitech! Now I'm going to go turn the oven on to preheat so I can make some pizza rolls.

Oh too true...and you're not allowed to say this or else you're branded a non-greenie, which is at least as bad as a racist these days.

ftlight
2008-12-16, 09:50
On 12/16/2008 11:23 AM, Dogberry2 wrote:
> Last night, I dreamt I worked for Slim, and had been assigned to respond
> to three posts on the forums. The posts went something like those listed
> below. When I woke up, I realized that working for Slim must require a
> great deal of patience and restraint. So I say thanks to all the
> patient and thoughtful folk at Slim for their efforts, and their
> forbearance, and I hope they never actually see posts like these:

<snip>

I vote for Dogberry2 to get a free Squeezebox and all the support emails
he can handle...

--
Bill Burns
Long Island NY USA
http://ftldesign.com

bklaas
2008-12-16, 09:51
Related: 15 years ago I was in graduate school about the same time a new operating system called BeOS was making a minor splash in tech circles.

I had a dream that I picked up a boxed copy off a shelf in a store and instead of BeOS on the box it said "BenOS", and for tech support listed my home phone number on the back of the box. Woke up terrified, in a cold sweat. True story, and an odd dream to have considering I was in grad school for Ecology.

cheers,
#!/ben

mrfantasy
2008-12-16, 09:53
This is one of the most vivid dreams EVER.

Dogberry2
2008-12-16, 12:36
Best. Post. Ever.
Glad you liked it, even if you exaggerate. But I really do hope no posts like that ever actually occur here. Really. I do.


I want some of his coffee...
Actually, it might have been the Vicodin. (I busted a rib last week, and doctor gave me some to help me sleep.)


Oh too true...and you're not allowed to say this or else you're branded a non-greenie, which is at least as bad as a racist these days.
Hey, I can't help what goes on in my unconscious mind. Even frogs know it ain't easy being green. (But it's real easy to talk nonsense that sounds green.)


I vote for Dogberry2 to get a free Squeezebox and all the support emails
he can handle...
Now that gets my vote! (Provided I get to be the arbiter of how many support emails constitute "all he can handle.")


This is one of the most vivid dreams EVER.
You're telling me! It scared me so much as I lay there in my bed that I nearly had an embarrassing accident that hasn't been a problem since I was six.

Skunk
2008-12-16, 12:57
Last night, I dreamt I worked for Slim, and had been assigned to respond to three posts on the forums.

Lucky you did not have any posts from the audiophile forum to deal with.

Dogberry2
2008-12-16, 13:05
Lucky you did not have any posts from the audiophile forum to deal with.
Oh great! Thanks for planting that in my subconscious! Now tonight I'll probably have a nightmare about some $5000/foot cables strangling me because I'm using FLAC instead of WAV. . . .

Skunk
2008-12-16, 13:09
Sorry. You'll now need to view the 1984 film Dreamscape, on Betamax, to learn the secret to defeating these night terrors.

TiredLegs
2008-12-16, 13:17
I think Logitech should get on the greenwagon and start designing electronic gear that doesn't need so much electricity because after all we have to save the planet. I'm sitting here typing on a computer with a 24-inch monitor in my climate-controlled house with central air, central heat, hot running water, a refrigerator, a commercial freezer, two microwave ovens, five TVs (including a 90-inch plasma), three DVD/BLU-Ray players, four computers, 8TB of disk storage, a big home theater system, and six different video game boxes, but I notice that my SBC cradle uses a whopping .001 milliwatts of power when the controller isn't even in it! I don't really know just what a watt is, but still, that seems like an awful lot. Why does it waste so much power? Doesn't anybody care about saving the planet? I think it could be made greener. I never studied physics or electronics, don't have an engineering degree, have absolutely no knowledge of nor experience in the field of electronics engineering, but I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that the recharging cradle could be designed better if the Logitech people would just think green. Let's focus on the tiny, minuscule, infinitesimal, little things, people, so we can save the planet! Get on the green stick, Logitech! Now I'm going to go turn the oven on to preheat so I can make some pizza rolls.
You forgot to mention the Hummer in the three car garage.

pippin
2008-12-16, 13:53
You forgot to mention the Hummer in the three car garage.

Yes, but the Hummer is a HYBRID!

toby10
2008-12-16, 14:06
..........
I think Logitech should get on the greenwagon and start designing electronic gear that doesn't need so much electricity because after all we have to save the planet......

SD support could send a SqueezeBulb Classic (CFL bulb) to all who complain about their devices not actually "turning completely off". Replacing one light bulb with the said CFL will save 8x the power consumption of an SB3 sitting idle. :)

CatBus
2008-12-16, 14:33
Oh great! Thanks for planting that in my subconscious! Now tonight I'll probably have a nightmare about some $5000/foot cables strangling me because I'm using FLAC instead of WAV. . . .

Don't worry about it. WAV cables have a wider turn radius because they're solid rather than stranded (so it'd be nearly impossible to stangle someone with them), FLAC cables wouldn't strangle you for using FLAC, and AIFF cables cost $6000/foot. But just in case, you can tell the difference between the three types by both the presence and authority of the cable.

seanadams
2008-12-16, 14:52
That's not fair - we're going green here. As a matter of fact, we just replaced our paper coffee cups with paper coffee cups that have green lettering on the bottom which reads "made from renewable materials".

pippin
2008-12-16, 15:07
That's not fair - we're going green here. As a matter of fact, we just replaced our paper coffee cups with paper coffee cups that have green lettering on the bottom which reads "made from renewable materials".

Weren't you already going green when adopting the Logitech CI?

Dogberry2
2008-12-16, 15:14
Okay, Mr. Adams, you just made me spill my coffee (grown very green in South America, then shipped via ocean freighter to the U.S., then by rail and truck to my local greengrocer, where I bought it and brought it home by car, ground it with an electric coffee grinder, brewed it with an electric coffee maker, and poured it into a mug washed by an electric dishwasher using water heated electrically). Fortunately, the keyboard I ruined is an old HP clunker belonging to the company I work for; my own personal Logitech keyboard is still hale and whole. Otherwise I might sue.

4mula1
2008-12-16, 15:43
Oh great! Thanks for planting that in my subconscious! Now tonight I'll probably have a nightmare about some $5000/foot cables strangling me because I'm using FLAC instead of WAV. . . .

Now those would definitely Monster Cables! Of course in that dream you will also get a cease-and-desist email regarding using their trademark...

iPhone
2008-12-16, 16:05
Now those were definitely Monster Cables! Of course in that dream you will also get a cease-and-desist email regarding using their trademark...

We should all go green and go back to living in caves, NOT! Going Green in the Audiophile section is using recycled coat hangers instead of buying Moster Cable products to connect our components as well as our amps and speakers!

Anyway, great post Dogberry2. There is no such thing as a stupid question as all questions needed answered. But there such a thing as a stupid post and we have all seen (and maybe made) a few of those. Again thanks for the laughs.

radish
2008-12-16, 19:58
Awesome post, seriously...brought a smile to my day!


Glad you liked it, even if you exaggerate. But I really do hope no posts like that ever actually occur here. Really. I do.


I can tell you're new here :)

Type 1 occurs about monthly. Type 2 maybe weekly and whilst there was a real fierce spate of Type 3 in the summer (spike in oil prices?) it's been quieter recently.

You also missed out a variant of type 2, which says something like:

"SC is obviously completely broken because I (and everyone I've ever met) sort our CDs by the number of groupies who could fit in the band's tour bus at the time of release, and for some stupid reason the devs haven't put that option in. Why would anyone sort it any other way?".

pippin
2008-12-16, 20:07
Hey, but the good thing about the squeeze ecosystem is:
It will last no longer than two weeks until someone writes a plugin that pulls the list of tour busses for every artist from Wikipedia, matches it to the manufacturer's capacity database, calculates the number of groupies based on a) the average size of the band and b) integrates over the age of each band member for each concert and then builds an sort index that can even be shared over a web 2.0 app.

mherger
2008-12-17, 01:20
> Hey, but the good thing about the squeeze ecosystem is:
> It will last no longer than two weeks until someone writes a plugin
> that pulls the list of tour busses for every artist from Wikipedia,
> matches it to the manufacturer's capacity database, calculates the
> number of groupies based on a) the average size of the band and b)
> integrates over the age of each band member for each concert and then
> builds an sort index that can even be shared over a web 2.0 app.

Is iPeng 1.1 in the stores now?

pippin
2008-12-17, 01:31
> Hey, but the good thing about the squeeze ecosystem is:
> It will last no longer than two weeks until someone writes a plugin
> that pulls the list of tour busses for every artist from Wikipedia,
> matches it to the manufacturer's capacity database, calculates the
> number of groupies based on a) the average size of the band and b)
> integrates over the age of each band member for each concert and then
> builds an sort index that can even be shared over a web 2.0 app.

Is iPeng 1.1 in the stores now?

still 1.0.4. Need to finalize groupie artwork download...

4mula1
2008-12-17, 05:02
Hey, but the good thing about the squeeze ecosystem is:
It will last no longer than two weeks until someone writes a plugin that pulls the list of tour busses for every artist from Wikipedia, matches it to the manufacturer's capacity database, calculates the number of groupies based on a) the average size of the band and b) integrates over the age of each band member for each concert and then builds an sort index that can even be shared over a web 2.0 app.

Don't forget to allow for "groupie inflation". This would be a primarily American thing where as the closer to the present year you get the higher the likelihood is that the groupie will be physically larger due to American dietary and portion standards.

pippin
2008-12-17, 06:15
Don't forget to allow for "groupie inflation". This would be a primarily American thing where as the closer to the present year you get the higher the likelihood is that the groupie will be physically larger due to American dietary and portion standards.

Oh yes! Although it's not a purely US phenomenon.
You could use a groupie inflator per year and state (I hear it's also different in different states?). Not an issue in Europe, here we would introduce a set of 256 harmonized groupie units that will be standardized across the EU.

Where in Indiana are you from? I know Kokomo and Indianapolis.

Skunk
2008-12-17, 08:01
Oh yes! Although it's not a purely US phenomenon.
You could use a groupie inflator per year and state (I hear it's also different in different states?)

FWIW Indiana goes to 11 on the weight dial.


Where in Indiana are you from? I know Kokomo and Indianapolis.

I'd be willing to buy you a drink the next time you're in Indpls. :-)

4mula1
2008-12-17, 08:46
Where in Indiana are you from? I know Kokomo and Indianapolis.

Warsaw (technically Winona Lake). It's about 2-1/2 hours north of Indy.

Skunk is spot on about Indiana being an 11 on that scale. The view from my office onto the production floor is pretty scary!!!

mvalera
2008-12-17, 08:58
This post is awesome on many many levels of awesomeness.

Mike

pippin
2008-12-17, 09:30
FWIW Indiana goes to 11 on the weight dial.

I feel like I remember that.


I'd be willing to buy you a drink the next time you're in Indpls. :-)

Now that's a offer :-)
But it's been seven or eight years now since the last time. I used to work for Delphi Delco then and their HQ was in Kokomo.
But hey, you never know.


Warsaw (technically Winona Lake). It's about 2-1/2 hours north of Indy.


Hey, must have passed it on the way to Detroit or Chicago then?
We're getting OT here :-)

mrfantasy
2008-12-17, 10:00
I don't think Sean was kidding. We have the same coffee cups in our dining hall. I like the fact that "Made from renewable materials" means, basically, nothing.



Okay, Mr. Adams, you just made me spill my coffee (grown very green in South America, then shipped via ocean freighter to the U.S., then by rail and truck to my local greengrocer, where I bought it and brought it home by car, ground it with an electric coffee grinder, brewed it with an electric coffee maker, and poured it into a mug washed by an electric dishwasher using water heated electrically). Fortunately, the keyboard I ruined is an old HP clunker belonging to the company I work for; my own personal Logitech keyboard is still hale and whole. Otherwise I might sue.

Dogberry2
2008-12-17, 10:13
I don't think Sean was kidding. We have the same coffee cups in our dining hall. I like the fact that "Made from renewable materials" means, basically, nothing.Yeah, hasn't paper always been made from renewable materials? (For that matter, so are vellum and parchment.)

But the thing that made me laugh was the irony in Sean's post. At least, I think he was being ironic.