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Druw
2006-02-17, 15:07
Hi everyone,
I had an english assignment to make an ad for a real product. I chose Slim Devices Squeezebox and put it together in Gimp. The slogan is "Squeezebox. Start a Fresh." So i chos a grayish to white gradient symbolizing the old fading ou to the new. Hope you like it, im certainly proud of how it came out!
Any comments ets will be nice.
Thanks

http://www.upitfree.com/view/45

Kyle
2006-02-17, 15:15
The thing that jumps out at me is that all of your text is one size. There's nothing to attract your eye. Make your slogan much larger so it will stand out. I also find the text hard to read against the background. Making it all bigger would help, and you might want to change the color to something that stands out better. Also, "afresh" is one word.

EDIT: I don't mean to be only critical. It's a good idea and good layout. A couple of other suggestions: Make the Slim Devices logo larger and remove the white line. The logo itself is set off by lines, so you don't need another one in there.

Druw
2006-02-17, 15:18
thanks for the suggestions, are you sure its one word?

Kyle
2006-02-17, 15:22
thanks for the suggestions, are you sure its one word?
Absolutely. I was a newspaper editor for 15 years. See this link: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/afresh If it's for English class, you want to have the spelling correct.

Druw
2006-02-17, 15:32
Thanks alot. Im editing it right now. Do you know where i can find the Slim Devices font?
EDIT: Finished editing here it is
http://www.upitfree.com/view/45

MrC
2006-02-17, 15:59
Hi everyone,
I had an english assignment to make an ad for a real product. I chose Slim Devices Squeezebox and put it together in Gimp. The slogan is "Squeezebox. Start a Fresh." So i chos a grayish to white gradient symbolizing the old fading ou to the new. Hope you like it, im certainly proud of how it came out!
Any comments ets will be nice.
Thanks

http://www.upitfree.com/view/45

A very cool assignment!

Something that I recall from my print days, is the concept of "visual center" which is about 1/3 the way down on the page. That's where the eye/brain feels is the center of focus, and that's where your most important message should be. Just a thought. Nice work!

Kyle
2006-02-17, 16:37
I'd still make your slogan a little bigger, especially considering what MrC says. It's in about the right spot on the page. Looking much better, though. Great idea posting it here. Nice work.

coldslabs
2006-02-17, 19:02
If you want a sharper logo (or other cool photos) look on this page:

http://www.slimdevices.com/au_press.html

My comments: The grey background/red text combo is a bit hard to read towards the top and you might want to give the text a bit of space on the left hand side (by moving the text to the right). Besides that, Good work.

EnochLight
2006-02-17, 22:13
On the 3rd paragraph you didn't capitalize the "S" in Squeezebox, and you made it two seperate words when it should be one. Also, the 3rd paragraph feels grammatically cumbersome - you used multiple commas when a semicolon might be more appropriate. For instance, you said:

"Fit your Squeezebox anywhere and plug it into your stereo, its highly polished material against a brushed metal face is a joy for the eyes, as well as the ears."

You might also try:

"Fit your Squeezebox anywhere and plug it into your stereo; its highly polished material against a brushed metal face is a joy for the eyes - as well as the ears."

Anyone care to comment on that suggestion? My English is a little rusty... ;-)

I also agree that the red on gray is hard on the eyes.

Again, this isn't attacking you - just meant as constructive criticism...

Druw
2006-02-18, 02:01
will fix everything and touch it up.
Thanks